The "C" Word. And the "R" word.

What "c" word is she talking about?, you wonder. Just wait and see, my friends. 

I have seen the effect of the c word on my friends: those who have taken ahold of it possess something I so desire.  Their lives look different than those of anybody else I know.  They are few and far between but their influence is obvious on those around them.  They are the ones who have captured the attention of God. They are the ones who I truly believe God sees, as in 2 Chronicles, "For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." (Haha and you thought the word is committed... WRONG, sucka.) 

Those who have not taken ahold of this, well... their lives still look vastly different than the world, and yet... it is not the same. They are loved by God just the same. They desire to do His will, and yet it seems to never be in full fruition. 

So what is it (and this is where everyone clicks off the page. please do not.)? Consecration. 

Consecration.  "Dedication to the service and worship of a deity." 

Dedication.  "Complete and wholehearted devotion."

It sounds cool. "God, I am going to consecrate myself to You!" This is so easy to say when His presence is felt emotionally, spiritually, or even physically.  It is easy when you AGREE and can SEE THE POINT of what He is telling you to do.  

If this was the fullness of consecration, then we would have no need to be told to do it. 

Consecration (or sub obedience) is for when... WE DON'T WANT TO DO IT, OR WHEN IT SEEMS HARMLESS.

I was shocked last week. I decided to go on an adventure with a friend, and what neither of us knew, was that what would take place that night was less than honoring to God.  Hilarious, yet, obviously wrong. 

I objected. It was kind of in a funny way, unfortunately, and I was ignored.  This was not the disturbing part. When I told people about it afterwards, most people were like, "OH MY GOSH I WANT TO DO THAT!" Stunned, I would reply, "But... it's wrong." The response? "It is small... it doesn't matter." 

But these things do matter.  It isn't about the fact that we might not see the point, or that what we did may not have GREATLY affected others... God told us not to do what was done that night, but we chose our own morality over His.

1 John 5:3

In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands.

I've been told before that people appreciated me because I did not freak out about the "small" things. I told dirty jokes, I made sarcastic and rude comments, I watched things on TV I should not have. And, yes, I still struggle with all of these things. But what did that mean? If I was only willing to give God the big things, but not the "small" things? I would argue that the small things are actually a lot bigger than the "big" things.  

So where does grace come into this? It is not a matter of making mistakes. I am the worst- I make mistakes constantly after I decide not to do something. What I am talking about is intentional disobedience in things we consider not important enough to be obeyed. Maybe this is too harsh, but seriously- that is what you are saying essentially. It is, "God, I know this is not pleasing to you, but it is small and I want it so my desires are more important right now." Idolatry. 

^{Luke 16:} 

¹⁰ “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. ¹¹ So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? 

True riches.  Revival.  Living and walking in the presence and power of God... 

Just dwell upon that. Are the "small" things worth true riches? Or shall we deny ourselves, pick up our "small" crosses, and honor God?

annoyed

Lately a desire has been renewed within me: to go off into the woods for about a week. I would take only with me my Bible and a notebook and an iPod. And perhaps a gun and cheeseburger.  This desire is not because I am holy, but because I feel so unholy.  I am brought down by this flesh daily. Yes, the Lord captures my heart most days, but am I truly listening to Him constantly?
I am coming to truly hate this world. It draws at me, when I would really just be done with it. There is nothing for me in it, yet it entices me with the appearance of grandeur, with its ever-fading beauty.  It seems to keep my attention in a way that grips me on such a consistent basis. I have to fight to go back into the presence of God, which is not long enough maintained...
I am kind of wrestling with God. I am so upset at Him that He won't just come meet me in the flesh, come answer my questions (which are all about who He is... that I could know Him!), let me hear His voice... Like, is that so hard? The disciples got it! The multitudes got to see Him, and hear Him. Why not I??
I have this theory. When Jesus spoke of the Holy Spirit, He said that it was good that He was leaving and the Holy Spirit was coming. My take on that is it requires us to dive into the spiritual to listen to Him, to know Him, to embark on the adventure of finding Him.  We can't live by the flesh to know the Spirit.  But it's FRUSTRATING!!
My answer? Like Jon Thurlow, "I will embrace the ache of a lovesick heart."
Lord, help me deny myself and know You.